yet another

Last night I decided to give up on World of Warcraft for good. Playing the game has been a bit of a compulsion lately, without any of the joy: I’d log on and quest and grind and think to myself, “Man, this is really freaking boring.” But I can’t stop playing once I’m on; and throughout the day I’m compelled to log on and start playing, even if I don’t want to, even if I’m doing something else that actually does make me happy.

I know that a lot of people develop a kind of sick obsession with this game to the point where they basically abandon their friends and family because they’re too busy playing. I can feel myself headed in that direction, even as I hate the game for being boring or tedious or just plain annoying at times. How many times do I have to hear people screaming racist bullshit in Trade before I finally just log for the night? How many times am I going to be ganked and then camped by roving groups of 70s, and then /spit on as if I’m such a noob for being 50 levels below them and unable to defend myself? How many times do I have to hit “Report Spam” on gold farmers before I realize that the reason why gold farmers are so prolific is because there are other people out there who don’t want to work hard, they just want to play? They don’t want to farm or grind for ten years, they just want to play the fucking game. Maybe they’re cheating, but damn, after a while that starts to make way more sense than playing legitimately. There are ten million other reasons why I’ve wanted to quit for so long but couldn’t. And I thought, well, why not? Why can’t I quit?

So last night I broke the curse.

I woke up feeling happy and renewed. I have the whole day in front of me to do whatever I want. If I still played WoW, I could be grinding right now, and by the time I go to bed I might have gained six levels, or 200 gold, or 800 honor points. But instead, I think I’m going to cook breakfast for my family, and then take a walk. It’s a lovely day. When I get back maybe I’ll play Pokemon cards with my sister, or watch some anime I’ve been meaning to get to for months now, or play a video game that I actually like and want to play. In the evening, I’m going to a spring football scrimmage thingema. I feel so deliciously free.

One day I’ll remember why I started playing WoW in the first place and realize that I do miss some elements of it. For now though, I’m just glad I was able to get away.